Reposted from Facebook BY LYNN ROSE, www.LynnRose.com
I feel saddened when I overhear/see people’s broad stroke judgment of another (or when I catch my own) because of how they’re dressed or how they look.
This goes beyond someone being overweight or not traditionally attractive or…(fill in the blank).
Lets say, a woman who wears flowy pants that flair at the bottom and likes to wear clothes from “Free People”, etc (which I love, btw).
I’ve literally heard this brought up – someone’s mind upon seeing them writes that person off as ‘must be woo-woo’, ‘probably feels entitled’, ‘must be bad at business’, etc.
(yes, these perceptions exist, even though they often could be furthest from the truth)
Or, some man dressed with slicked hair in an impeccable business suit and the flip side of stereotypes and judgment comes up: “Full of himself”, “Must be uptight and selfish”, “Probably greedy and would willingly screw you over to get what he wants”.
(and yet some of the most caring, brilliant, giving people I know are massively successful and dress impeccably)
How we cut ourselves off from possibility because we’re so quick to put people in boxes of interpretation of who they are because of how they look.
I recently met a multi-millionaire who is kick-butt at business and yet looked like a ‘wanna-be’.
His teeth are rotted and in sore need of a complete overhaul. He has a pronounced beer belly. He talks with an Appalachian accent (like he’d be the stereotype of ‘redneck’). His hair is sloppy and his clothes sometimes wrinkly.
You’d never know who he really is beyond that first impression.
Yet if you took the time and care, you’d discover that he comes from being committed to making a difference, is a philanthropist and happens to be a brilliant investor who many of those in impeccable suits and slicked hair seek guidance from.
I know someone who dresses and speaks like a yoga instructor and dresses like she’s on her way to Burning Man – yet she started and runs a multi-million dollar business that’s making a difference in people’s lives and is a huge giver to meaningful charities – actively involved in helping others.
Where’s the ‘entitlement’ stereotype of that kind of look that some assume?
(FYI, that is NOT mine, but many I’ve overheard many who leap to that kind of assessment when seeing someone dressed like that).
I know a stunningly, tall, beautiful woman, who openly displays her beauty (fashionable, high heels, sexy clothes) and though some might look at her and think ‘she’s just a model type, must have air for brains and has someone to take care of her”, etc
This woman happens to be incredibly successful, featured in leading magazines, BRILLIANT, playfully hilarious, is training executives around the world about the latest and greatest technology – Oh, and she also happens to be passionate about being of service, doing an abundance of hands-on work in Africa to support creating self-sustaining villages for the people there.
The examples are endless and they extend beyond what people choose to wear or their level of beauty or not.
Lets turn these false perceptions upside down.
Someone may be overweight, short, tall, gay, ‘disabled’, unable to speak, messy, ‘too old’, ‘too young’ – you name it – and yet beyond those stereotyped exteriors can lie some of the most brilliant minds, giving hearts, accomplished leaders, creative talents, massively successful or beautifully impactful souls.
What judgments come up for us with who we see?
What are we cutting ourselves off from by staying hooked into these kind of preliminary judgments?
What might we be cutting other people off from because of our judgment?
How might we be judging ourselves with how WE show up?
And (this is KEY):
How might we, instead, be compassionate with ourselves and others as to how we are programmed to judge and NOT make it mean they (or we) are bad people for it?
We need to spark our awareness so we go beyond the surface.
We need to remind ourselves that the world is not actually as we initially see it because we are all mired in our own self-created filters.
What opportunities, what access to more connecting, more unity, more understanding might there be if we could catch that dynamic going on in our awareness, shift it and remain more open?
And, I believe, how much freer might we feel if we gave ourselves that gift of shifting automatic judgment?
What do YOU think?…